Luigi gets a Job
by Gonzales512
Summary: After the Super Smash Stock is falling, Master Hand forces Luigi to get a job. Can he survive a day of work?


**- Luigi Gets a Job -**

Gonzales512

Mario was working on his computer in the Super Smash Bros. Cubicle as he was checking the stock market. Everything was going down, including the SMSH stock, which dropped over 100 POINTS!

"Holy crap! Our stock's falling," said Mario.

"Don't worry, that stupid glove who prefers to live in his own mansion has money," said Luigi.

"He thinks we're too stupid to be living in his stupid place."

"You were saying?" a voice boomed behind him.

"HOLY CRAPOLA!" yelled Mario. "IT'S MASTER HAND!"

"I-I-I- um… how you doing?" said Luigi sheepishly.

"SILENCE! NOT ANOTHER WORD!" roared Master Hand. "I understand our stock is falling. And that means you need to get JOBS!

(Insert Dramatic Song Here)

Luigi gulped. All available jobs sucked. And they only paid 3 dollars an hour. But there was no other choice. He went to get a job but was rejected by every business, including the Luigi's Fan club. There was only one more place.

* * *

_Stupid people. Why can't they clean their stuff up,_ thought Luigi as he got a job as a janitor at a Burger King. It was a mess, with burger wrappers lying all over the tables, ketchup squirted on the floor, and an occasional AA battery which comes out of nowhere.

Link, who was running the register, was working full time, accepting orders from hungry customers and leaving their trash behind for Luigi to pick up.

What was even worse was when a fat ShyGuy went to the bathroom. He was also assigned to clean the bathrooms, no matter how smelly or dirty it is. It just had to be done.

Toon Link, who was running the drive through however, was having a hard time as he had to stand on a stool to make himself look tall. That made him struggle to get himself on the stool every time he takes an order and every time he gives the food to the hungry customers.

Luigi got bored so he went to help Kirby flip the burgers, since he was swallowing half of them. Then he got to the fries. He took out the sizzling fries in those wire containers that held the fries for them to cook and started putting them in the boxes until Link's cash register exploded. Dollar bills flew everywhere and a nickel got stuck in the fry machine. That caused the fry machine to explode and a tire out of nowhere runs over Fox but no one cared.

Luigi was carrying a tray full of prepared burgers to the drive through but slips on a banana and all of the Whoppers go flying and hits the driver's face. He took off without paying.

As Marth was enjoying his Triple Whopper his huge soda when a random ketchup packet hits him in the face and explodes, spilling ketchup everywhere. The manager comes out of nowhere to see what was going on.

As Luigi walked in the bathroom, he was putting those round things people put in the urinals. But then the horror came as he went into one of the toilet stalls.

"OH. SWEET. JESUS." Luigi shooked horrified as he saw the toilet backed up with crap all over the place. Then almost immediately, the bathroom explodes, filling up the entire men's room with crap and other kinds of stuff.

"What the hell is going on?" yelled the overweight manager.

"I don't know what went wrong. The cash register exploded," said Link.

"YOU'RE FIRED!" the manager yelled.

"Why me?" cried Link. "Why couldn't you fire Kirby? He keeps eating the burgers. That's why we keep losing money."

Then, another packet of ketchup landed on the manager's face, getting ketchup all over his face. Furious, he yelled.

"CAN'T YOU BOZOS DO ANYTHING RIGHT?"

* * *

"HOLY SHITOLA!" Luigi yelled as the brown water flooded the bathroom. It managed to break through the door and filled up the restaurant area. Everyone started screaming as they ran out of the restaurant. Now instead of burgers, it smelled more like the middle of a landfill. More solid waste came out of the bathroom including a plunger, a broken window and a Toyota. Link ended up getting crushed by a crocodile that came out of the bathroom also. Toon Link ends up escaping to Mexico and Kirby gets kidnapped by Michael Jackson.

Luigi finally stops sliding on the floor but ends up staring at the manager's face.

"Did you cause all of this?" yelled the manager.

"Um… no."

"YOU'RE FIRED! GET OUTTA HERE!" the manager yelled.

Just as Luigi left the Burger King, a plane crashed into the burger joint and exploded. That caused a nearby Wal-Mart to explode along with Roy, who was at the toys aisle.

* * *

Five hours later…

"So," said Mario. "How much did you make?"

"Um…" Luigi looked at the check. "27 dollars."

"Wow. That's more than Ganodorf makes in a month," said Mario.

"I've learned something today. Working sucks. You get to do all the boring stuff and the people you hate get to do the fun stuff," said Luigi.

"Well, I better be getting to work," said Mario as he drove off to a nearby television station.

* * *

A/N: Another story from Gonzales512, presented to you by in HD; Highly Demolishing entertainment. (that was retarded.) Now here's a little special on Super Smash Football if you haven't already gone on my profile.

* * *

**Here are some famous quotes from famous people about Super Smash Football**

_Best thing since Yoshi Kart_ – George W. Bush

_Better than those idiots at Al-Qaeda _– Osama Bin Laden

_Why didn't they call it "Super Mario Football?"_ – Mario

_Football, didn't they do that in Super Mario Strikers?_ – Some English guy

_No, I'm talking about the badass American version_ – Me

_Excellent_ – Mr. Burns

_Holy crap! A man-eating refridgerator! _– Luigi

_(Gunshot)_ – James Bond

_Soon, I will control the world_ – George W. Bush

_No hablo Ingles_ – Yoshi

_Money for the poor_ - Ganodorf

_Buy my stuff, and pay for endless upgrades because of the constant bugs _– Bill Gates

_We've been breached!_ – My computer

_Git 'er done_ – Larry the Cable Guy

_Super Smash Futbol es muy bueno_ – Fidel Castro

_AHHHHHHHHHH! A tornado!_ – Toon Link

_It looks like you're writing a football fic. Would you like help with that?_ - Clippit

_I don't like where this is going_ – Mario (Drives off a cliff)

_FOOTBALL!!_ – Some guy at ESPN512

_WHERE'S MY SANDWICH_ – Ike

(pointing to Wario) OH MY GOD! IT'S NACHO LIBRE! – Fox

_Finally, something Yoshizilla hasn't done_ – Yoshi

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed these famoustacular quotes that have been heard from all around the world. Have a great night. ADIOS VIRUSES! (Blows up the Hard Drive)


End file.
